K's First Day of School

K woke up this morning, knowing that today was going to be her first day of school. She had oatmeal and berries for breakfast (by request), and then she got dressed in the "princess dress" and "punzel" (Repunzel) big girl pants that she picked out last night. While I got everything ready, she was very quiet. She saw me in my workout clothes and this is how our conversation went:

K: "Mama, we goin' to sole-er sides (stroller strides) today?"
Mama: "No, we're going to school today."
K: "You go workout by yourself?"
Mama: "Yes, sweetie."
K: "Daddy come to school wis (with) me?"
Mama: "Yes. Mama and Daddy are coming to school with you. Then we're going to go bye-bye for a little while and you will have so much fun! Then, Mama will come and pick you up."

I realized then that, despite all of the talking about preschool, and the endless reading of books about preschool, K still did not understand that she was going to preschool by herself without Mama and Daddy. I have been dreading this day for a while now, and my heart felt even heavier after this realization. But I pulled it together and put on a happy face for K.

When it was time to walk out the door, we put on her shoes and I tried to give her backpack to her. I asked if I could take a picture of her since it was the first day of school, and she shouted "NO!" I tried a few more times, but got the same answer. So we got in the car and off we went.

She was very quiet on the way to school, so I started to ask her some questions. I asked her if she was going to have fun, make new friends, play in the sandbox, and color at school. At first, she just said no to everything. But after a while, she told me that she was going to paint and sing. She just wanted Teh-ee Bear to come with her. When I tried to explain that Teh-ee Bear would get dirty at school and that he should probably stay in the car, her eyes immediately welled up with tears. So I decided Teh-ee Bear was going to school, too, even if only for a bit.

When we got to school, I tried to take K's picture again. This time, she let me, but she was not very happy about it. It breaks my heart because she looks so sad.

We went inside and found her nametag.

She thought Teh-ee Bear should have a nametag, too, and tried to take one of the others on the table.

We quickly switched her nametag to the back of her dress so that it didn't bug her. We put her little Hello Kitty backpack into her cubby and I told her that her hat and sunglasses were in there if she wanted to go outside.

And then we went into the music room. The first 15 minutes of each day is family music time, so parents and siblings are welcome to come in and sing with the kiddos. K didn't sing any of the songs, but snuggled in close to me and held tight to Teh-ee Bear.

Mostly, she just observed all of the other children around the room, and at one point, laid her head on my lap.

When music was over, we went into meet with her Lion group in the playroom. The tables were all set up for painting, but the teachers quickly realized that the kids weren't quite ready to leave their parents and paint. K still looked so sad. Daddy and I gave her hugs and kisses and I told her that I would be back in a little bit to pick her up. We had a meltdown and she latched onto me and held on for dear life. So I decided to stick around for a few minutes.

Since K wasn't the only one having a hard time, the teachers decided to take the Lions outside to the garden and let them water the plants. After some coaxing, K handed Teh-ee Bear to Daddy and started watering some of the plants. K seemed to be enjoying herself and kept watering the plants. So after a few minutes of her doing better, Daddy and I walked back inside and out the front door along with Teh-ee Bear. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do, but at the time, we were afraid that K would never voluntarily let us leave, and she seemed to be doing so well.

But once we got outside, we could hear her crying. It was awful and I immediately started balling. I was so tempted to go back in, but the teachers assured me that she would be fine and that I could call in a little bit to check on her. I was so upset, but I knew if I lingered, it would make it worse.

About 45 minutes later, I got a call from the school that K was doing better and playing in the sandbox with all of the sand toys. The school has a super, special sandbox with a water pump that flows into it, with all kinds of trucks and diggers, and every kitchen utensil you can imagine. I was sure she was having a good time now!

But then I got a call an hour after that. K was looking everywhere for her Teh-ee Bear and crying. I felt so bad for taking him with me! I rushed over there and took him in. K didn't see me, but the teachers were able to tell me that she was doing better. She even went into her backpack and got her hat all by herself before playing outside! Such a good girl!

I picked her up 40 minutes later. She seemed so happy to see me, but it was clear from her mood (and confirmed by the teachers) that her day was really hard. It was really hard for both of us! But I know this is best for her...I just can't believe that my baby girl is already in preschool! The teachers gave me a few tips for next time. Teh-ee Bear can definitely come to school with her! So, that is great news! And they told me to bring a picture of her family that she can keep in her cubby or in her pocket to pull out any time that she gets sad, and to remind her how much we love her. Tuesday, she will go back to school again. I think it will be much easier....for both of us!